Adults abused as children sometimes discover triggers that return them to those experiences, and once realized, may or may not avoid them, depending upon where they are in their healing. For me, any number of cinematic themes or characters can be profoundly upsetting, so I try to control what I see, but of course, this isn’t always possible, or healthy. So I take in a little at a time and let emotions wash over me, with the idea that the feeling likely needed to be released.
Sexuality is a primary root of our humanity, and sex a natural behavior of our biology. Sexual abuse strips away one’s center, distorts their nature, and converts them into a religion through the alienation of their experience(s). Child, woman, and man will never be able to fully express what they saw, felt, or heard at their radically immoral burning bush. To live beyond the cinders, they will need to visualize a more rooted structure, if wishing to stay tethered to this earth.
These were the thoughts I had after watching the video below, and after thinking back on how difficult it was to reconcile or believe I was beautiful while surrounded by darkness and evil. I could never own my beauty until owning my ugly.
This separation and reunion of self are what cause the roots, trunks, and branches of the abused to become twisted. It is also how they recognize magnificence where others, through comparison, see only inferiority.
It is grace that is bestowed on us when life opportunities moments to share and drown in oceans similar to another because it tightens our roots, mirrors our magnificence, and brings peace to know we’ve not been baptized in our religion alone.
Every healing path includes visualization, acceptance, drowning, conception, rebirth, and Love