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Sometimes they get the best of me, and I let them cause why not? What’s the worst that can happen when your thoughts get you to telling your life story to the other stranger in the room, when there’s no other stranger in the room, except you?

If filming came to mind, think again. That’s not the worst. Sure, the camera adds pounds, but surprisingly, if you’re fat on camera, chances are, you’re thick off camera too. So, guess again. Stumped?

Yeah, I was too, until I watched the whole film. In my opinion, it’s a toss-up between the waterboarding and the rape, which technically wasn’t either, except in the mind of the stranger. Actually, it’s not even a toss-up, because waterboarding the black triangle ufo in my underwear falls into masturbation territory. Besides, isn’t the purpose of waterboarding to get someone to talk, to spill the beans, out the criminal or give themselves leverage in the witness protection program?

People tell you to follow your dreams, but they rarely ask you to follow your thoughts. Absent lighting, sound direction, and one psychotic stream of consciousness, the movie wasn’t all that bad. I mean, it won’t win any awards or anything, but at least I got some mafia practice under my belt.