L U P I . S P U M A

My husband once owned a trucking company, and within six months, half of his drivers quit. He was so distraught about it that he let the business go at the end of that same year. He’d had the company for forty years, and I’d only heard his account of what happened because he’d let it go before we ever met.

We were talking about starting a new business together, and his unresolved anger over those drivers leaving ‘him’ rose to the surface. It was as if forty-five years hadn’t passed as I watched his face turn red talking about how they all wanted more money and how he’d refused on account of the economy. Based on his anger and the reasons behind it, I didn’t believe we would have a successful business or marriage unless he took me back to that time in his life so I could better understand his perspective and possibly offer mine so we could move forward without doubt underlining his thoughts.

Without knowing the details of his business or what happened, I knew that most of the time, employees don’t quit on account of money. Employees often leave when managers stop pouring into them. I knew the statistic of one in so many businesses failing wasn’t necessarily true. Companies often fail when owners stop pouring into them. I knew that marriages didn’t end because couples move from upper class to lower class. Marriages often fail when or both partners stop pouring into it and themselves. Sometimes though, it is not the pouring that is the problem; instead, it’s the contents.

People don’t cheat because they’re addicted to sex, nor do they murder because they’re addicted to killing. While such assertions sound dark, it should be noted that the more lightly stated declarations are even more sinister, for example, parents don’t give children milk at bedtime to help them sleep yet believe they do.

We may not know how to read when we’re born, but moral literacy was the inked formation of our hearts while developing in the womb. So when we judge that a soul is filled with moral illiteracy, it’s because we are reading the results of their story. Yet, if we really took the time, we would find their hearts plagiarized with bullshit or painted over with lies, and we would know this in recognition of the fake Button Gwinnett signature hovering over the dotted line of our own hearts.

Money isn’t the root of all evil so much as a weed distracting us from what we have or haven’t planted and also tends to be the gauge by which many believe reflects what we have or haven’t harvested. Our barren winter may not readily reveal the commitments we’ve steadfastly dug and planted our hearts into, and when we look to the summer solstice for our reward, still we may find nothing but disappointment because the season of expectation doesn’t live in contracts and calendars. We can only see it resting beneath the dotted line in our heart, and if still, it isn’t visible we must work to erase the stains, especially those created in admiration of the lovely penmanship we may have spent our lives adding gloss overtones to.

Peace is a year-round reward granted in exchange for the purity of our heartbeat, not a state we must have our hearts beaten to achieve or maintain and everyone who quits anything is acting by this truth, finding balance and digging deeper into their bhajate.

When our actions are sourced from Love, we gain discernment in what we allow to be poured in, and we also gain enhanced ability to nurture others through what we pour out. We play our best game when we take the roles of pitcher and receiver beyond the borders of unrefined diamonds.

Let’s be of perfect cleavage and while helplessly hoping, grant Love permission to be our armor.