Nothing is ever considered a problem until it encroaches on those closest to you because we tend not to look for the blemish in the mirror until someone else points it out.
The pimple. The wrinkles. The red eyes. The bags. The stoic expression.
We stare but it is all so superficial we cannot see what they see, at least not beyond the skin and this is sometimes the most confounding dilemma of all because if what they see is not reflected in our eyes then vision becomes a question.
If not for my wireless headphones I’d have no reminders of my daydreaming.
“Disconnected” is what she says when I go silent and when I search for sound she reaffirms that again I am “Connected”.
She seems so sure of herself that when I hear her voice I find that being disconnected feels uncomfortable so I look in the mirror and realize she doesn’t see me, that she judges me based on my movements or stillness.
Then I thought of the blemishes that others point out about us and how our imperfections are really judgements about our movements or stillness.
Then I laughed because it dawned on me how programmed we are taught to be. To sound.
But I wasn’t laughing at what we were taught. I was laughing at the fact that we haven’t been heard and we haven’t been heard because we’ve been looking at the mirror so long in desire.
Desiring to be the perfect reflection of sound but not realizing the imperfection of our unique pitch is a ground that plays the same game as false judgement, that plays for home.
Sometimes the judgements placed on us come from those who don’t realize that imperfection is not a crutch but the strategy of those who pick winners naturally attuned to Love