I N S I D E

Charlie grabbed her purse and cup of coffee before kissing the black kitten on the head as it slept at the foot of her bed.  She laughed at the voices and visions that accompanied her as she walked out the door. The mind berated her for running behind as angel one and angel two once separated by her shoulders sat holding hands to keep warm within the crevice of her breasts as if they couldn’t be seen.  

“You’re not running behind anything Charliiieee…” angel one sweetly sang.

“Even if you were we’d stop and let you catch up!” angel two said in an evil baritone voice before grabbing the other angels face and sticking his tongue deep into her mouth as Charlie turned away.

She was tired, happy and sad from her dream the night before. For two years she’d been called back to the same precise place in dream state and each time her answer was the same, until last night.  The moment in the dream had been real and when she looked into his eyes to answer his question her answer was also real.

Charlie never forgot the question “Why am I not inside of you?” but more she never forgot his eyes or the many words seen swimming beneath them unspoken and stroking hers with such intensity that internally she melted while opening an invite to the liquid-paneled bed of her tongue where he entered and slid with abandon through seaman halls curtained in navy blue moans pushed into lavender pillows hiding antiseptic undertones.

Last night was different because in that moment he sat frozen, his question written on her ears in a bell of lucid ringing while unblinking his eyes penetrated hers. This time Charlie felt differently as the melting once felt only internally had become external so she expected it to overtake her and when it didn’t she turned her head to find that she was the only thing in the room moving as even the air held visible clouds of smoke in complete stillness to remind her of the fire that had been started.

She turned back to stare in his eyes and although trapped frozen in that moment like a prisoner without escape, his eyes held steady to hand her a key to an entryway Charlie would later describe as being carpeted in sunshine by eyes lit in pure love. 

Her tears began to fall in overwhelm because she wanted to give all of herself to him this time but the dream demanded she instead jump naked in the sea of his soul, swim near his heart and place an anchor with her answer.  Closing her eyes she replayed his question, “Why am I not inside of you?”

Opening her eyes and looking into his she said, “You are.”