A Betty Boop grin was my gift to him after he had flashed a Mr. Rogers smile that delivered a subtle Christian Grey promise. My hand subconsciously touched my breast as I thought about him giving me a tour of his neighborhood.
Suddenly what I was looking at changed, and we sat cross-legged on the floor of our classroom as our teacher used her magic mirror to call out names. While she usually called out the names of kids that weren’t there, she turned her ‘mirror’ towards us and instead of calling us by our individual names she said,“I see Mr. and Mrs. Rogers and they will have a special life together.”
The class laughed and I put my head down, red and embarrassed. After only a moment the class silenced so I looked up. He’d stood up and faced me with a solemn look. As soon as I caught his eye, he reached into the pocket protector of his blue plaid dress shirt and removed his favorite quill pen.
Holding it out to me he said, “She sees what we’ll one day live to write. Take this pen. I have another at home. One day we’ll part but if you love with this ink I will recognize your heart and know exactly where to continue the sentences until the story becomes ours.”
I woke up with tears streaming down my face as I’d been too emotional to respond in the dream. After a full day of contemplating what that girl might have said to that too mature boy in that space of silent observation I was still unclear what words or spaces would have made a difference.
Love can feel distant when expression is limited by spirit and closing the distance has no choice but to squeeze ink from the pen.
Expression has lost ability to become a hard stop as desire to bleed has never been so strong…